Who hasn’t ever been geeking out on the Internet and reading those long lists of “things you should do before you die”? I mean, yes, they all sound pretty amazing, but when will I have the chance to ride an ostrich in Asia? It’s not like I wouldn’t enjoy it, but it is certainly not the first thing I will do once I get back to the continent.
And why the hell would I “spend all my money in Vegas” or “assemble a list of my all-time favourite quotes”?
I will certainly not die remorseful if I don’t do all these things. Wouldn’t it even be pretty sad to empty my bank account, gambling in Vegas? If I don’t die the next day, I’d be screwed.
I have recently been wondering what bucket lists are even for. Do they just want to show us how pathetic our lives are, or perhaps their aim lies in encouraging us to make the most out of our lives?
After hours of reading bucket lists on the Internet, and previously thinking they were too personal to be shared, I came to the conclusion they often feature random things one individual could either never achieve or would definitely ruin their life, because they were so determined on making them all happen. Bucket lists have to be realistic, but most of all, they need to relate to something you personally feel would bring you satisfaction.
I came across the most random things ‘to do before you die’ and began to wonder how the people who wrote them could have thought they would reach a lot of individuals with their ideas.
Here is a bucket list, concocted by myself, featuring the ’TOP 10 useless things to do before you die’ from lists found on the Internet:
10. Attend the world championship cockroach races in Australia
Maybe I would take a look around Australia before taking a 24-hour journey only to see cockroaches. Just saying.
9. Learn to identify and name all 88 constellations
Read the dictionary too, and you will have successfully lost 246 hours of your life!
8. Pet a panda
I’ve seen some in zoos. Apart from eating bamboo and lying on trees, they don’t do much. I will stick with cats, they are much smaller and much more amusing.
7. Ask Taylor Swift who her songs are about
Thanks for bringing this up. Now I want to know too.
6. Rescue someone
Does picking up a bird that smashed against a window and giving him some water count as rescuing someone?
5. Spend time with children, even if they aren’t yours
4. Run out of toilet paper at some critical moment
How is this something anyone would put on their bucket list?
3. Try to break a world record
Do I really want to be pictured between the hairiest teenager and the kid who had the most spoons balanced on his face? Believe me, I’ll be okay without that photo.
2. Develop or learn a signature dish and become known for it
I bake a very good French croque-monsieur; can I please be a celebrity?
1. Quit that one thing you don’t think you can quit
I should quit eating. I am pretty sure I can’t, but let’s not rely on preconceived ideas. You don’t know until you try!
If you want to achieve things before you kick the bucket, make them things that are important to you. Why would anyone need to go to the other side of the world and do crazy things to feel good about their life? Do what makes you happy, not what will make people envy you.
This article has originally been pubished on Cultnoise.